Mixed Emotions

its scares me that i don't wana put the phone down
even when we argue and i tell myself to do it now.
its crazy, this chemistry, its so new to me and i don't
know what to make of it, so i'm gona set it free.

set it free like let it flee or should i just let it be?
i guess i'm unstable because i'm unable to disentangle
myself from what i fear is just a girly bubble.
this is silly! a message from you makes me giddy
i never do this besides you hardly know me.

i hate it when you call me baby but i really want
you near me and i don't mean clichés like holding
hands and picking through a choice of tofu
i mean kicking back with a grab of soul food
just chilling and catching up on whats good.

i never really thought i would like you. you seemed
a lil obnoxious and thought u were too cute. so
this is an accident, one i'm finding real hard to mend.
but your quite cool and maybe a lil misunderstood but
never use that as an excuse cuz i'll be the first to scream "bull!"
lets face it we're complete opposites so i can't really place
this. you and i? can u trace it?

i wana be a friend one u can count on, one who will always be there
not one that you would call your boys and say "yeah i did her."
i wana know you, read you better than an exam book cuz
living in the balance has got me confused and i'm not amused
so i resign myself to the thought of "its no use, he's just a
muse for a feeling all gurls have to go through". this is
what i say to myself to try and get over you.

but sometimes i fall asleep only to wake up in your
arms holding you close, feeling safe and unharmed.
laughing with you and making funny faces at ur hairy underams.
then i blink and realise it was all a dream so the next time
you call i convince myself not to respond at all. see i
gotta curb this or i will probably just fall. besides you've
had it all. ghanaians, nigerians, foreigners and all.
so its FOOLISH of me to even allow myself to dream at all.

i don't do emotion but with you its like i'm floating
on an ocean, i'm not joking. seriously! but don't quote me.
u've got me smiling at the weirdest timings and its got
people asking "yo lulu what gwaning"?
i wana be your friend one who cares and one who will
always be there, joke with you and get away with sniggering
at your silly glare. i wana be your friend, one who will challenge
you and DARE to call you unfair. yes i wana settle for friendship even if it means pretending this feeling is no longer there.

Perfect Scar

Feet sliding off the porcelain floor, my dress carries the wind with it; rising and falling as I

sway my hips to the crooning husky voice on the radio. You tilt your head to one side and a

smile creeps up on your face. The dimpled one. You must be the exception to the rule.

Surprisingly ordinary yet extra-ordinary, date.

Pulled out chairs, opened doors, a kiss on the cheek goodbye. Picasso’s finished piece. 

You re-mould the missing patterns; An art
I'm on cloud nine. I'm arrollando! (overhelmed) in a conga. So carefree I release all worries into dance. Cha! cha! cha! Its a good day. You reach out for my hand. I feel a sudden tingle rush down my spine. Not ORdinary. My feet adopt a smoother rhythm. Waltz. You stare into my eyes and I smile into yours. Searchingly, you gaze upon my sweat beaded brow. I shift my weight clumsily from one leg to the other. A giggle erupts through pursed lips, shattering the silence enveloping us. You laugh. I'm SHY. You can tell.

I reach for the plates. Hair sweeping my face as I turned. Running; cool, warm, hot water gushing. Rich white foam. Tiny strips of spaghetti swimming in a thick creamy sauce; my plate. Your plate defines your appetite; Scraped clean. A SECRET compliment; thank you. My hands swirl around in the sink, chasing dancing cutlery. Its late, I think to myself.  You should properly leave NOW. I feel your breath on my neck. Dark sculptured fingers sliding down the arch of my back. An ease of movement. Foxtrot. Tightening. Digging harshly into brown silk. You gentleman.